WASHINGTON, DC — Republican primary candidate Ted Cruz announced yesterday that he will name fired Hewlett Packard C.E.O. Carly Fiorina as his running mate, moments before she drove his campaign...
Naturopathic Colleges investigating 100% of their members for unscientific health claims
TORONTO – Naturopathic Colleges in five provinces are investigating every single one of their members in response to complaints that they may be making unscientific claims or offering services o...
Nation’s Rebeccas launch #NotAllBeckys campaign
TORONTO — The nation’s Rebeccas are outraged at being allegedly targeted by Beyonce in her latest album Lemonade. Released last Saturday, the album has ignited a national alert as the entire cou...
Local woman’s life doesn’t pass the Bechdel test
OAKVILLE — If the life of Isabelle Henley, local paralegal, wife, and mother, were made into a movie, critics agree it would fail the Bechdel test. “Most days I wake up, ask my sons what they wo...
Canadian Revenue Agency unable to figure out where mattress company hiding its profits
OSHAWA, ON – Despite searching through the recently leaked Panama Papers for shell companies, looking into offshore banks, and checking for any potential money laundering operations, the CRA has...
Bandwagon fan proudly brings Jays gear to Raptors game
TORONTO – Local man Joseph Dorn, who regularly and loudly proclaims that he “lives and bleeds Toronto sports” has accidentally worn his Jose Bautista jersey and several other baseball-related pa...
Margaret Wente now required to submit columns through Turnitin.com
TORONTO – Faced with new allegations of plagiarism, Globe and Mail columnist Margaret Wente will now be required to submit all of her work to the student essay checking service Turnitin.com. “Th...
Cruz, Kasich announce joint plan to go back in time to stop Donald Trump from being born
WASHINGTON, D.C. — GOP Presidential Candidates Ted (“Teddy”) Cruz and John (“Johnny”) Kasich have announced that they will put aside their differences in order to travel back in time and stop fr...
Sum 41 blames anti-transgender law for cancelling poorly selling North Carolina show
CHARLOTTE – Pop-punk band Sum 41 joined the likes of Bruce Springsteen and Jimmy Buffett when they cancelled their upcoming Charlotte concert, a move they insisted had to do with the state law b...
Authorities deem mother unfit for letting her children live in Winnipeg
WINNIPEG — Further to an upward trend of activity by Child Protective Services (CPS), the CPS launched an investigation into the conduct of a mother of two who has been allowing her children to...
