WINNIPEG – The Liberal Party of Canada wrapped up their first Biennial Convention since their 2015 federal electoral victory and adopted many new important policies based on very uplifting and h...
Monte Carlo collects $400,000 in fines from Formula One speed trap
MONACO – Calling it their most successful day yet, the Monte Carlo police force handed out $433,000 worth of speeding tickets in just 3 hours of traffic stops at yesterday’s Formula One races. “...
Woman purchases mason jars, old records at garage sale to sell at next garage sale
OTTAWA – Local woman, Willow Andrews, was thrilled with her recent garage sale finds of rustic mason jars and old vinyl records, which will be featured in her own garage sale next year once she ...
Hero Ambassador Kevin Vickers tackles protester before he could detonate opinions
DUBLIN – Canadian Ambassador to Ireland Kevin Vickers is once again being called a hero for tackling a man heavily armed with a loud voice before he could detonate his opinions at a ceremony yes...
Harper delivers heartfelt, heavily redacted resignation speech
OTTAWA – Former Prime Minister Stephen Harper announced he was bowing out of politics today in a sincere, and vigorously redacted, speech to the House of Commons. “I hope that my tenure as [blan...
Rona Ambrose slowly lowers live goat into pit full of Tory backbenchers
OTTAWA – During question period today, interim leader of the Conservative Party Rona Ambrose used her time to feed a live goat to several dozen ravenous Tory backbenchers. “We are not to be unde...
Zoo officials hope patrons don’t notice they’ve replaced capybaras with giant TTC rats
TORONTO – With two capybaras having escaped from the High Park Zoo earlier this week, administrators are hoping that zoo visitors don’t notice that the animals have been temporarily replac...
Woman braces for barrage of street harassment think pieces
VANCOUVER — As warmer weather approaches and fashions become more revealing, women across the country have begun grudgingly preparing themselves for an increase in street harassment opinion pieces, wh...
Nation’s cats celebrate being able to shit in people’s gardens again
CANADA – With the larger part of Canada now experiencing prolonged periods of warmth, cats nationwide are once again reveling in their ability to defecate in the newly-planted gardens of Canada&...
Wal-Mart parking lot in Whitehorse newest campground in Yukon
WHITEHORSE – Extolling the breathtaking beauty of Whitehorse’s urban wilderness, Yukon Parks has unveiled its newest campground located in the Walmart parking lot between Quartz Road and Chilkoo...
