Liberal Party’s new policies based on inspiring set of fridge magnets - The Beaverton

Liberal Party’s new policies based on inspiring set of fridge magnets

WINNIPEG – The Liberal Party of Canada wrapped up their first Biennial Convention since their 2015 federal electoral victory and adopted many new important policies based on very uplifting and heartwarming statements made by fridge magnets.

On issues ranging from national economic management and social inclusion to defence procurement and greenhouse gas reduction, party members discussed and debated well-researched inspiring words magnetically attached to many of the nation’s fridge and freezer doors.

Anna Gainey, the President of the Liberal Party of Canada, explained that her party has demonstrated they are committed to evidence-based platitudes.

“There are many challenges our government must confront,” explained Gainey to loyal party members. “But when it comes to recovering the economy, addressing First Nations housing and improving the democratic process, we must be the change that we wish to see in the world and always believe something wonderful will happen.”

Party members from across the country brought their very best statements that made people’s day feel a little bit brighter.

“The reality is, when it comes to pension reform, we need to acknowledge that life is journey; not a destination,” said Harry Frame, President of the Vancouver East Liberal Riding Association. “I read that on my Auntie’s fridge and thought that we had to make this our policy.”

With regards the contentious issue of arms sales to countries with dubious human rights records, Liberal delegates passed a resolution that consisted of an asymmetrically-drawn heart with the word “Love” written on it.

Delegates also delved into issues of unemployment. One of their resolutions reads: “WHEREAS the nation’s unemployed are experiencing difficulty in obtaining training and education programs; BE IT RESOLVED Canada will aim for the moon; if we miss, we’ll land among the stars.”

Before the convention came to a close, the oldest federal political party in Canada presented its new motto as “When nothing goes right, go left.”