TORONTO – Seething with deep loathing and blind hatred, the city’s streetcar tracks have promised never to rest until every single one of Toronto cyclists’ bodies have been crushed, bruised or s...
Woman at gym can’t find a non-weird place to do glute bridges.
KINGSTON, ON – Local fitness enthusiast Rebecca Lee is currently on her third lap around the gym, hoping against hope she’ll find a place to do glute bridges without an audience. “I’m not sure w...
Oilsands sees new hope in gasoline-powered wind turbines
CALGARY – With low oil prices hurting the economy, the Canadian oilsands industry has invested heavily in a new alternative form of energy production through gasoline-fueled wind turbines. “It’s...
Entire city of Oshawa arrested for running marijuana grow-op
The feds crackdown on marijuana dispensaries and grow-ops takes an unexpected twist in Oshawa....
Canadian power couple! Rachel McAdams just confirmed she’s dating Niagara Falls
St. Catharines, ON – After nearly a decade of “will they, won’t they” suspense, movie megastar Rachel McAdams has finally confirmed that she’s dating famous tourist destination Niagara Falls. An...
5 signs that your best friend has become the Toad King
Sometimes it’s tough to know what’s going on with your friends but, thanks to this guide, you’ll never have to wonder if your best bud is donning the ermine-lined lilypad cloak and taking up the mantl...
Shorts Guy pulls the trigger a couple weeks early again
CALGARY – Local man Derek Rathburn, known to many in the community as Shorts Guy, has reportedly jumped the gun once again on breaking out his trusty shorts for the summer season. “We had one da...
Frustrated Trump demands to know what he has to do to get impeached
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a week that’s seen him publicly admit to obstructing justice, leak highly classified information to Russian ambassadors, and severely compromise American intelligence partnership...
Portraits of Canadiocity: Neil Young
Today’s Portrait of Canadiocity takes a look at the Y from CSNY: Neil Young....
Friends and family look on helplessly as local woman contemplates Smallville marathon
CALGARY – The friends and family of Katherine Jacobs, 30, are at a loss as to how to prevent her from throwing hundreds of hours of her life away on a Smallville marathon. “We all knew she’d bee...
