Demonic dog baring teeth and growling just happy to see you, says owner
ARNPRIOR, ON – Local residents expressing concern over the behaviour of an aggressive dog were reassured by its owner that he is actually quite friendly and loves people. Residents walking …
Answering your questions about the Ostrich story your uncle won’t stop posting about
You have probably seen your right wing family and friends post a lot about ostriches lately. And, since you don’t follow Rebel News and a lot of twitter accounts with fucktrudeau and fringe…
Pregnant woman startled by unexpected symptom of everyone being really nice to her
VANCOUVER – Sarah Jenkins, 32, who is seven months pregnant with her first child, has reportedly had some difficulty adjusting to a strange new symptom: colleagues, acquaintances, and even strang…
Rogers commemorates Blue Jays World Series Run with new statue of Ted Rogers
TORONTO – Rogers Communications, proud owner of the only Major League Baseball team in Canada, revealed plans to celebrate their 2025 World Series run with a second statue of company founde…
Carney adds more deficits to budget while nobody paying attention
OTTAWA – Amid a week of heavily-publicized upheaval in the Conservative caucus, Prime Minister Mark Carney is currently adding even larger deficit spending after realizing that nobody is pa…
Poilievre prevents more MPs from leaving party by locking doors, swallowing key
OTTAWA – In an effort to prevent any more defections from caucus, party leader Pierre Poilievre has reportedly locked all Conservative MPs in an undisclosed room in Parliament Hill before swallow…
Conservative MP thinking of crossing floor wakes up with severed head of a John A. Macdonald statue in his bed
OTTAWA – Milton Smolyak, a “red tory” who has been rumoured to be mulling over a switch to the Liberal Party, woke up this morning with the severed head of a John A. Macdonald s…
We ranked the NDP leadership candidates by how likely they are to disappoint you
As Jagmeet Singh’s disastrous run of the NDP has shown, left wing politicians will always inevitably let you down. Whether it’s relentlessly pushing to the centre to court more votes, never enact…
Carney reduces Trudeau’s tree planting program from 2 billion trees to 2
“It’s a minor revision to the program’s goals.” Luke and the Panel (Ian MacIntyre, Clare Blackwood and Megan MacKay) dive into the details of Mark Carney’s budget, s…
Complex, timeless masterpiece of classical music conjures up only images of cartoon rabbit in drag
CORNWALL, ON ― 39-year-old landscaper Talia Arsenault became painfully aware of her total lack of refinement recently, when a symphony that had weathered centuries of cultural change thanks to it…
