Rogers commemorates Blue Jays World Series Run with new statue of Ted Rogers
TORONTO – Rogers Communications, proud owner of the only Major League Baseball team in Canada, revealed plans to celebrate their 2025 World Series run with a second statue of company founde…
Carney adds more deficits to budget while nobody paying attention
OTTAWA – Amid a week of heavily-publicized upheaval in the Conservative caucus, Prime Minister Mark Carney is currently adding even larger deficit spending after realizing that nobody is pa…
Poilievre prevents more MPs from leaving party by locking doors, swallowing key
OTTAWA – In an effort to prevent any more defections from caucus, party leader Pierre Poilievre has reportedly locked all Conservative MPs in an undisclosed room in Parliament Hill before swallow…
Conservative MP thinking of crossing floor wakes up with severed head of a John A. Macdonald statue in his bed
OTTAWA – Milton Smolyak, a “red tory” who has been rumoured to be mulling over a switch to the Liberal Party, woke up this morning with the severed head of a John A. Macdonald s…
We ranked the NDP leadership candidates by how likely they are to disappoint you
As Jagmeet Singh’s disastrous run of the NDP has shown, left wing politicians will always inevitably let you down. Whether it’s relentlessly pushing to the centre to court more votes, never enact…
Carney reduces Trudeau’s tree planting program from 2 billion trees to 2
“It’s a minor revision to the program’s goals.” Luke and the Panel (Ian MacIntyre, Clare Blackwood and Megan MacKay) dive into the details of Mark Carney’s budget, s…
Complex, timeless masterpiece of classical music conjures up only images of cartoon rabbit in drag
CORNWALL, ON ― 39-year-old landscaper Talia Arsenault became painfully aware of her total lack of refinement recently, when a symphony that had weathered centuries of cultural change thanks to it…
Poilievre to floor-crossing MP: “My leadership style is fine you cuck beta soyboy!”
OTTAWA – With Yarmouth MP Chris d’Entremont crossing the floor from the Conservatives to the Liberals due to “Poilievre’s leadership style”, the CPC leader has responded &…
Katy Perry smiles politely as Trudeau describes himself as “the Canadian Mamdani”
OTTAWA – Onlookers at high end restaurant La Rivière report spotting celebrity couple Katy Perry and Justin Trudeau on a recent date, during which the former Prime Minister repeatedly drew …
President Trump pardons the Hamburglar
McDonalds, D.C. – US President Donald Trump has added to his list of pardons another well-known criminal, McDonald’s mascot The Hamburglar. “He is a really great guy, this guy,” stated Trum…
