OTTAWA – With a shortage of kidneys, lungs, hearts and other vital organs, the Canadian Society of Transplantation is challenging more Canadians to take up reckless, ill-advised activities like ...
North Korea executes ex-girlfriend of Kim Jong-un over alleged sex tape
North Korean has reportedly executed Kim Jong-un’s former lover by firing squad for allegedly participating in a pornography along with 11 other artists. What’s your say? “Damn! I was waiting for the ...
Western countries to rescue Syrians from chemical weapons by bombing them with normal weapons
WASHINGTON DC – Following another chemical weapons attack in the region, Western countries have intervened on behalf of Syria’s civilian population to ensure that the bombings there return to re...
Malia Obama catches father intercepting her text messages
WASHINGTON, DC – Tempers flared at the White House Monday night when Malia Obama discovered her father had been reading her text messages. The fourteen year-old first daughter was outraged that ...
Via Rail announces new slightly faster than slow train between Toronto and Montreal
MONTREAL – In response to growing competition from airplanes, buses, automobiles and walking, Via Rail unveiled its new mediocre-speed train for the Toronto-Montreal corridor on Monday. “The cus...
TIFF Opening Night Gala to feature film by Atom Egoyan, probably
With TIFF fast approaching, programmers for the world’s second largest film festival are around 80% sure opening gala will feature Atom Egoyan’s next masterpiece. “I don’t think Sarah [Polley] or Davi...
Schoolboy prepares for return to school by making up name of girl he kissed at camp
Thetford Mines, PQ – This has been a big summer for Timmy Nolan, who kissed a girl for the first time, or so he plans on telling his friends. Nolan, 10, bet his friends that this would be the su...
Justin Trudeau admits to trying wine
OTTAWA – Liberal leader Justin Trudeau has continued coming-out to the public regarding his recreational substance use, admitting today that he has tried wine at least once since becoming a sitt...
Local woman packs running shoes to give illusion of exercise during vacation
London, ON – In preparation for her week long trip to Paris, a woman has packed her New Balance runners to give her the fantasy that she will actually be doing exercise during her trip. “I can’t...
