NEW YORK CITY — In his address to the United States General Assembly on Wednesday, US President Joe Biden condemned Iran’s violent enforcement of the country’s hijab law, saying the right way to …
World
Buckingham Palace confirms death of Queen at Meghan Markle’s hands probably
LONDON – Britain’s Royal Family has officially confirmed that Her Royal Majesty Queen Elizabeth the II is dead at age 96, with her cause of death “almost certainly” being Suits suppor…
Mom really upset you made that joke about the Queen
THORNHILL, ON – In late breaking news your mother has reportedly sent multiple disappointed messages this afternoon after you posted a joke about Queen Elizabeth in the family group chat. Y…
Mikhail Gorbachev, who we all honestly thought was already dead, dead at 91
MOSCOW – It is with great sadness that we announce Mikhail Gorbachev, who we all honestly thought was already dead, is dead at 91. The former premier of the USSR, Gorbachev was most famousl…
Leaders assure world they have climate change plan to save themselves and that’s all
WASHINGTON, DC – As summer temperatures soar around the globe due to climate change, the world’s leaders announced they do indeed have a comprehensive plan in place to save themselves…
Canada sends Ukraine shipment of duct tape to fix earlier shipment of weapons
OTTAWA, ON- The Canadian government announced it would continue to support Ukrainian forces by sending an entire shipping container of duct tape to the embattled nation to aid in the repairs to t…
British Empire begs Sun to set on it
LONDON — As a record-setting heat wave sets Europe ablaze, the UK has reported its hottest day-time temperature ever recorded, leading many of its inhabitants to cry out at the sky pleading for …
Putin determines cyber attack against Canada not necessary since Rogers is far more effective
MOSCOW – Russian President Vladimir Putin has determined that allowing the existence of Rogers Telecommunications as a major provider in Canada is much better than launching a cyber attack …
Boris Johnson leaves yet another party disheveled and without a clue what’s going on
LONDON, UK — After numerous calls for his resignation, British Prime Minister Boris Johnson has finally stumbled out of the Conservative Party despite not understanding what he did to piss everyo…
Queen Elizabeth announces plan to outlive Charles, “no matter what it takes”
LONDON, UK – In a rare candid interview this week, Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II announced her formal plan to outlive heir to the throne Prince Charles, “no matter the dark deeds required.…
