Struggling with her roll of plastic wrap, local food consumer and preserver Sheryl Lemeshuck turned to internet website wikiHow for help late Tuesday evening. “I’d never really master…
Science and Technology
Hospital to offer Breaking Dawn themed birthing option
ALTONA, MB – A hospital in Manitoba is offering expectant mothers the option to undergo a vampire C-section similar to the one described in Stephenie Meyer’s novel Breaking Dawn. “We all know tha…
Computer error preempted by smashing keyboard into monitor
WATERLOO, ON – A frustrating computer problem was avoided yesterday when Radioshack employee Mike Pasut, 27—in anticipation of a computer crash—quickly grabbed the keyboard off his desk and smash…
Erratic orbit of Pluto used as pick-up line
YORK, ON – At a downtown house party over the weekend, James Denison, 21, a third-year astronomy major at York University, used an unconventional method to initiate a conversation with a gi…
Jimmy’s Web Site Company to drop support for IE6 browser
KITCHENER, ON – Web analysts have been in a frenzy following a report that Jimmy’s Web Site Company will be dropping support for Microsoft’s Internet Explorer 6.0 in the coming weeks. The m…
Mars society treated to rare thrill
CALGARY – Members of the Mars Society of Canada were treated to a rare thrill this morning when our red neighbour came closer to the Earth than it has in 60 000 years. At its closest point …
Ex-girlfriends reunites with ex-boyfriend using emoticons
GUELPH, ON – A failed relationship was given another chance late last night when three emoticons were used symbolically during an instant messaging conversation. Following a three hour on-line ch…
Girlfriend breaks up with boyfriend using emoticons
GUELPH, ON – An eight week relationship ended abruptly last Sunday evening when three emoticons were used symbolically during an instant messaging conversation. Following a two hour on-line…
