By Local Disk (C:) The other day I started a spring cleaning project and, oh boy, things have gotten crowded in here. I don’t mean to be petty, but if you could cut back on your downloading, I’d …
Opinion
Will and Kate face anti-monarchy protests in Quebec
After receiving a warm welcome during their visit to Ottawa, The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge were met with hostile chants from a group of separatists during their visit to Montreal. What’…
So long as you overlook my horrible communication skills, I will make a great intern
By Sanjay Babar Dear Sir or Madam, Thank you for meeting me in person today to discuss this exciting opportunity to work for your company. When my program advisor told me that I needed to complet…
I can slide rule your ass under the table
By Donald Testa Sr., Professor of Engineering Queen’s University Quick, what’s 529 divided by 23? What’s the matter, forget your 23 times table, you miserable excuse for an engineering graduate? …
Thanks again for letting me see your breasts last night
By David Dickie Hi Katherine. It’s me, David. How’s it going? Oh really? Well that’s good to hear. So listen, I just wanted to call you to let you know I had a really good time …
I figure I can wear shorts in this weather for another eight or nine weeks
By Al Lombardo Why would anyone want to wear pants in this weather? Seriously, it’s way too hot to make the switch to pants already. Are we into fall yet? Because, honestly, it still feels …
Hey brotha can you kick that Cheeto over my way
By Subway Mouse Hey you! Yeah, you over there with the newspaper. I need a favour. You see that Cheeto sitting over there by the tracks? I need you to get that for me. All you got to do is jump d…
I am a Frosh Party Animal
By Martin ‘Figs’ Figlinsky My friends, I have to tell you, this year’s frosh celebration was really awesome! The University of Toronto has really topped itself. This was by far one of…
