OTTAWA — Several Canadian manufacturing companies announced that the domestic robots that replaced thousands of Canadian workers will be replaced by temporary foreign robots. Canada’s new a…
National
Ghostbusters respond to abandoned Ottawa mansion haunted by previous prime ministers
OTTAWA — The National Capital Commission has called in professional paranormal exterminators to deal with several poltergeists haunting the now-derelict official residence of the Prime Mini…
Canada Post hires former FLQ members to blow up community mailboxes
MONTREAL — In what will be a tremendous task of removing thousands of community mailboxes, Canada Post has hired former members of Quebec’s defunct separatist paramilitary group to destroy …
City of Calgary to rename unemployment office after Stephen Harper
CALGARY – City officials have announced that they will move to rename the municipal office that handles employment insurance and welfare claims after soon to be former Prime Minister Stephe…
Progressives applaud nation’s willingness to take powerful man seriously despite good looks
OTTAWA—Following the election of Justin Trudeau as Canada’s next Prime Minister, advocates for equality and civility in political discourse have congratulated Canadian voters for demonstrating th…
Justin Trudeau files 35 million workplace harassment complaints against Canada
OTTAWA – Less than one week after guiding his party to a surprise majority in the federal election, Prime Minister-designate Justin Trudeau has already filed 35 million workplace harassment compl…
Justin Trudeau returns to 24 Sussex to find his old crusty socks
OTTAWA — Prime Minister-designate Justin Trudeau had time to visit his old childhood homestead where he found his secret pair of old crusty socks. The pair of stained yellow Hanes socks wit…
Gilles Duceppe quits Bloc leadership to seek Bloc leadership again
MONTREAL — Bloc Québécois leader Gilles Duceppe has announced his resignation so that he may seek a third term as Bloc Quebecois leader. “My friends, I take full responsibility for the part…
Tearful Stephen Harper boards spaceship for return to home planet
CALGARY – Following Stephen Harper’s emotional concession speech Monday night, hundreds of Conservative Party supporters claimed to have seen a massive blue object launching from Harp…
