OTTAWA – The Liberal government and Foreign Affairs Minister Stéphane Dion have appointed several new ambassadors this week, replacing Grimguts McGree, Black Hand Jones, and other controver…
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Majority of Senate applicants just doing it for the dental, criminal immunity benefits
OTTAWA — According to sources within the Independent Advisory Board for Senate Appointments, a majority of candidates applying for Senate positions are only interested in the position for t…
Wealth Inequality at an all-time high, boasts Finance Minister
OTTAWA – Speaking to a conference of finance industry power brokers, Finance Minister Bill Morneau announced that, after years of coordinated government planning and effort, Canadian wealth…
Stephane Dion finally tracks down Onix in Parliamentary Library
OTTAWA – After looking for hours, Minister of Global Affairs Stephane Dion has finally captured the Onix in the Parliamentary Library. “Yes!” exclaimed the former Liberal leader as held his…
Concrete sarcophagus where they buried Diefenbaker starting to crack
UNDISCLOSED LOCATION, SK – Only a few short decades after the spellbinding speaker and prairie populist’s alleged death, scientists monitoring the concrete sarcophagus of John Diefenbaker w…
Canada changes official lyrics to O Canada to include line ‘Fuck you, the Tenors’
OTTAWA – Following a controversial performance by The Tenors at the MLB All-Star Game, in which singer Remigio Pereira inserted the phrase “All Lives Matter” into the Canadian national anth…
Tony Clement launches campaign from steps of very nice gazebo
Orrville, ON — Former federal and provincial cabinet minister Tony Clement has announced his bid to lead the Conservative Party of Canada from one of his favourite gazebos. “I have the expe…
Public Service Pay Centre accidentally pays employee $2.7 billion in provincial transfer payments
OTTAWA – After a series of clerical and accounting errors, the Public Service Pay Centre, Canada’s centralized payment facility for public servants, has accidentally compensated a federal e…
Calgary Stampede cowboy euthanized after chuckwagon race injury
CALGARY – Calgary Stampede employees were forced to put down a prize cowboy Friday night after he sustained a leg injury during a chuckwagon race. The 42 year-old male Caucasian, named ‘Sid…
Hungover Justin Trudeau shows parliament Bill Nye video
OTTAWA – After an eventful night at the Byward Market that left him with a throbbing headache, former schoolteacher Justin Trudeau opted to take it easy the following morning and just show …
