ST JOHN’S, NL – A national spelling bee contest held in Newfoundland was cancelled this morning when judges deemed it was too difficult to determine what letters were being said aloud. “Hal…
National
Steven Harper commissions detailed report on human emotion
OTTAWA – Prime Minister Stephen Harper has called on his council of Cabinet members to provide him with a detailed report on human emotion. Included in the request made earlier in the week,…
Ontario Liberals historically elect first high-cheekboned, bespectacled premier who was also born in 1953
TORONTO – Political history was made in Toronto over the weekend when Kathleen Wynne became the first Liberal Leader of Ontario that wears glasses while having high cheekbones and who is op…
Theresa Spence begins eating strike
OTTAWA – Just hours after ending a 6-week-long hunger strike, Theresa Spence, Chief of the Attawapiskat First Nation, announced she is ignoring all medical advice and commencing an eating s…
Harper to First Nations: ‘We must support Israel’
OTTAWA – Addressing the ongoing calls for government commitment to pursue First Nations issues, Prime Minister Stephen Harper released a statement to Aboriginal leaders this Friday morning …
David Suzuki goes on weeklong pollution bender
CAPE ST MARY, NL – Canadian environmentalist David Suzuki, known for his activism on global climate change, was discovered earlier this week passed out near a private jet in Cape St. Mary&#…
First Nations audit of Federal Government reveals billions in mismanaged funds
OTTAWA – The Canadian Government has been mismanaging funds for over 140 years according to a damaging audit commissioned by the First Nations released this morning. The audit, conducted by…
Stephen Harper finally caves to pressure from animal spirit guide
OTTAWA – Prime Minister Stephen Harper finally agreed to meet with an assembly of Aboriginal leaders on January 11th, after bowing to pressure from his animal spirit guide, Odjiig. “It is a…
Aboriginal Affairs Minister John Duncan now aware that he is Minister of Aboriginal Affairs
OTTAWA – As Attawapiskat Chief Theresa Spence’s hunger strike continues to provoke calls for immediate action by the Government of Canada, Conservative staffers were quick to point out that progr…
Marc Garneau unveils platform: I’ve been to space, motherfucker!
TORONTO – Liberal leadership candidate Marc Garneau revealed his plans for the Nation’s future yesterday, unveiling a platform entitled “I’ve been to space, motherfucker!” Despite ini…
