MONTREAL – The Miller family’s flight from Quebec’s increasingly stringent language laws hit a snag on Thursday when the province’s language police fined them $3,000 for writing Toronto in …
National
PMO showcases free lunch program for disadvantaged staffers, cabinet ministers
OTTAWA – The Harper government is demonstrating its profound empathy for the disenfranchised political class with a $68,000 lunch program for disadvantaged PMO staff and cabinet ministers. “It’s …
RCMP bust major Canadian Tire money counterfeit, laundering operation
MONCTON – The RCMP have arrested twelve people in connection to an advanced Canadian Tire money counterfeit and laundering operation, seizing over $10 million in Canadian Tire currency. Pol…
Conservative MP Brad Butt claims he saw Big Foot stealing voter cards
OTTAWA – The Member of Parliament who claimed he saw people committing voter fraud is now claiming he saw Sasquatch stealing voter cards out of recycling bins. “Mr. Speaker, I have seen thi…
Calgary relieves traffic congestion replacing downtown with 6,000 lane highway
CALGARY – After years of congested roads and frustrated drivers, the City of Calgary announced that it will be tearing down most of the city’s core and paving a 6,000 lane highway for a fas…
New Tim Hortons bonus roll cups now doubles chances to not win a car
OTTAWA – Fans of the Tim Hortons Roll Up the Rim contest have been excited by a new feature that now gives them two chances to not win a car. The extra Roll Up the Rim location is part of T…
Harper developing jowls as he plans to be ‘not a crook’ for Liberal convention
OTTAWA – Canadian physiologists are watching in amazement as Prime Minister Harper‘s chin increasingly envelops his neck as the Liberal Convention begins in Montreal. “We’ve read about it before …
Brazeau finds gainful employment after leaving post in the seedy underbelly of Canadian society
OTTAWA – Suspended senator Patrick Brazeau has finally found a respectable job as a strip-club day manager after leaving the decadent opium den that is the Canadian Senate. “I’m just happy to be …
Canadian voters now required to show Conservative Party membership card before voting
OTTAWA – The federal government has recently announced plans to address voter fraud by requiring Canadians to present a Conservative Party membership ID before voting in elections. “Canadia…
FEDS: First Nations Education Act a positive step forward in giving First Nations autonomy from Gov obligations
STAND OFF, AB – In what is being described as a major step forward in providing First Nation’s communities with more autonomy from federal government treaty commitments, the Harper Governme…
