INGONISH – Parks Canada is set to begin construction on a 10 storey high statue along the Cabot Trail to commemorate the memory of Canada’s services and pensions for veterans The $60 millio…
National
Alison Redford steps down as Alberta Premier, replaced by barrel of crude oil
EDMONTON – Following the surprise resignation of Premier Redford, the Alberta PC party has proudly announced that her replacement would be a 159L drum of pure petrol. “When you get right do…
Harper declares Afghanistan mission a success with opium economy fully recovered
OTTAWA – With the return of the last Canadian soldiers in Afghanistan, Harper declared an economic victory now that the country’s opium economy has fully recovered. “Canada would like to re…
Flaherty resignation creates Economic Action Plan’s first job
OTTAWA – Canada’s Economic Action Plan, which cost $60 billion of the past five years, created its first job opening today when Finance Minister Jim Flaherty resigned. Flaherty explained th…
Poll: Fewer Canadians plan on living after retirement
OTTAWA – A new Environics poll indicated that fewer Canadians are expecting to live after they retire from their jobs. 47% of Canadians responded that they have little or no hope that they …
Federal government introduces new immigration demerit point system
OTTAWA – Immigration Minister Chris Alexander announced today a new immigrant demerit point licensing system to compliment the existing immigration point system. The demerit point system &#…
Former Sun News boss commences Phase II of plan to destroy Canada
MONTREAL – Former Quebecor CEO Pierre Karl Péladeau initiated the second phase of his secret seven point plan to sabotage Canada on Sunday when he announced he would be the Parti Québécois’…
Justin Trudeau honours women on International Women’s Day by releasing photo spread of himself
OTTAWA – To celebrate International Women’s Day, Justin Trudeau is honouring the women of Canada by releasing a new photo spread of himself. “I’m recognizing the contribution of women in ou…
Baird threatens to send adrift Canadian warship in Russia’s general direction
KYIV – Foreign Minister John Baird has threatened to deploy the adrift warship HMCS Protecteur in the general direction of Russian waters if Russia does not pull its troops out of the Crime…
Trudeau gaffes on son’s birth certificate adding ‘H’ to Adrian
OTTAWA – Justin Trudeau is proudly celebrating the arrival of his third child by misspelling the poor newborn’s name on the birth certificate. “It was a joke” explained an amused Trudeau. “I thou…
