KYIV – Foreign Minister John Baird has threatened to deploy the adrift warship HMCS Protecteur in the general direction of Russian waters if Russia does not pull its troops out of the Crimea.
Baird made the warning while on a visit to the Ukrainian capital and said he will make good on his promise if the winds were blowing in a northwestern direction.
“Canada is ready to commit to sending a message to Russia about its wanton aggression” Baird announced draped with a yellow and blue scarf. “If there are any further incursions into the Crimea region, I will order the release of HMCS Protecteur from the tug boat lines and hope it floats into Russian waters.”
International relations expert agree that Canada’s move is a risky, yet daring way to up the ante in the Ukrainian crisis.
“This move is a radical shift by turning Canada’s military liabilities into assets” said J.L. Granatstein of the Canadian Defence and Foreign Affairs Institute. “It’s a great way to draw Russian resources away from the Crimean peninsula and towards a rescue operation.”
At press time, sailors of Protecteur were not looking forward to portaging their ship across Hawaii.
