MONTREAL – Temperatures in Montreal are fluctuating between chilly and cryogenically cold again leaving many to question when they can ironically wear a toque. “This sucks” declared 24-year…
Montreal
Pont Champlain to remain terrible until 2025
MONTRÉAL – The City of Montreal has confirmed reports that the reconstruction of the Champlain Bridge will cause horrendous problems until 2025. “I know that we said that it would be finish…
Montreal police apologize for threatening homeless man, promise to tie him up in better weather
MONTREAL – After recent criticism for their handling of an under dressed homeless person in Montreal by Police during subzero temperatures, the Montreal Police have confirmed that all public iti…
After 5 years, coroner report concludes that bullets likely killed unarmed teenager shot by Montreal police
MONTREAL – After half a decade of waiting, a Quebec coroner’s report has determined that an unarmed teenager shot by a Montreal police officer in August 2008 most likely died from bullets. …
UbiSoft Montreal spent $373M to update axes in Assassin’s Creed Black Flag
MONTREAL– The Assassin’s Creed video game received a massive update on their inventory of axes as UbiSoft Montreal invested all of their recent $373M on the one thing they do well. &#…
The Beaverton endorses Montreal municipal candidate: Maximus Corruptus
The editors at the Beaverton have endorsed Maximus Corruptis for Montreal’s proconsul. The Beaverton editors believe that as the American Empire crumbles, we need only look back to t…
The Beaverton endorses Montreal municipal candidates: Team Mob
The editors at the Beaverton have endorsed Team Mob for Montreal municipal office. The Beaverton endorses the re-election of Team Mob. Tradition is the backbone of any great city and the Beaverto…
The Beaverton endorses Montreal municipal candidates: Team Stock Photo
The editors at the Beaverton have endorsed Team Stock Photo for Montreal municipal office. This bright team of comfortably generic models will bring a convincing synergy to Montreal’s City …
Montreal police arson squad return from group outing to find offices destroyed by fire
MONTREAL – After a morale-boosting spa day, Montreal’s arson squad returned to work yesterday only to find their offices destroyed by arson. “It’s been a long couple months for us. We’ve be…
Green party places Laraque on injured reserve with fraud accusation
MONTREAL – In an unexpected roster move, the Green Party transferred Georges Laraque to the injured reserve list yesterday with a fraud accusation. In a post-garden-visit press conference, …
