SCARBOROUGH – An independent investigation has found that Scarborough-based Stonemill Bakery’s new ‘Women’s Wellness’ pre-packaged bread is identical to the men’s va…
Health
Child dying from measles just glad he isn’t autistic
TORONTO – Quarantined in his hospital room after contracting a fatal case of measles, little Timothy Bartlet told reporters how glad he was that his parents opted not to vaccinate for fear …
Doctors without Borders to open free measles clinics inside vegan restaurants and organic grocery grow ops
PORTLAND – In a new move to combat measles in North America, Doctors Without Borders (MSF) have started opening up vaccination clinics in the types of places where children without vaccines are m…
Immigrant doctor successfully delivers 2.5 pound pizza
WOODBRIDGE, ON. – Drawing on expertise as an obstetrician that the Canadian government does not recognize, local pizzeria employee Bishal Thule has successfully delivered a two-and-a-half-p…
Bell Let’s Talk Raises $6,000,000 to fund counselling for survivors of Bell’s customer service
TORONTO – After raising a record $6,107,538.60 for mental health initiatives on Wednesday, Bell executives announced all of the money would go to counselling centres for survivor’s of the company…
Food documentary changes local woman’s diet for 92 minutes
VICTORIA – Inspired by the shocking revelations about America’s obesity epidemic exposed on the recently released documentary Fed Up, local woman Jessica Hopkins totally transformed her eating ha…
New Health Canada ads educate Canadians on risks of voting Liberal (Radio News Update)
OTTAWA – Health Canada will release a series of television commercials warning Canadians about the dangers of voting for the Liberal Party. Anchor: Aaron Hagey-Mackay Sound Effect: Mansardi…
Homeopaths without Borders discover 87 cures for Ebola virus
ATLANTA – The international homeopathy organization, Homeopaths without Borders, has discovered nearly 100 different cures for the Ebola Virus and will promptly use these remedies to fight …
Monsanto patents more efficient version of Dave
SECRET LAB, MOJAVE DESERT – Scientists and humanitarians the world over were astonished and appalled today, as the international biotechnology corporation, Monsanto, announced that they wer…
PEI Health opens inaugural ‘Anne of Green Gables’ abortion clinic
CHARLOTTETOWN – Honouring PEI’s most cherished fictional character, the province has named its first abortion clinic after Anne of Green Gables. Unbeknownst to many Canadians, the author of…
