EMERYVILLE, CA – A classic summer toy for children, the Slip ‘N Slide is getting a 21st-century makeover, with the new design featuring built-in chunks of stuff that hurts the human body. “…
Business
Starbucks to add coffee large enough for customers to climb inside, immerse selves, forget everything
SEATTLE – Starbucks has announced the addition of a new beverage size to the Starbucks menu, one that is large enough for customers to scale, climb inside, and forget everything happening i…
Wynne promises sale of Hydro One won’t cause problems until she’s out of office
TORONTO – Coming on the heels of criticism of her government’s proposed sale of 60 percent of Hydro One, Premier Wynne has reassured the province it is a move that will only cause trouble ‘…
New generation of e-cigarettes will provide authentic cancer experience
CANADA – In a recent breakthrough by electronic cigarette manufacturers the next generation of e-cigarettes on the market will cause cancer and other complications, giving what distributors…
40 minute hold with Rogers ends exactly as man starts to urinate
KITCHENER, ON – Well over half an hour into the hold Jason DeMark was placed on by Canada’s largest cable and wireless provider, his need to go to the bathroom finally overwhelmed him and he bega…
WIND Mobile chairman still unaware of demotion due to poor signal
TORONTO – WIND Mobile chairman and former CEO Anthony Lacavera is still unaware that the company’s new ownership group has moved him into a greatly diminished honourary position due to the …
Tax season makes man glad he saved that Wendy’s receipt from 7 months ago
SARNIA, ON – As he completes his tax return, local man David Cupchik says he is very happy that he remembered to get that receipt from the $8.99 chicken sandwich combo he ordered at the Wen…
CRTC mandates cable companies reduce prices, offer flexibility, be the internet
OTTAWA – After months of deliberation, the Canadian Radio and Television Commission released a ruling requiring large cable companies like Rogers and Bell to offer customers the kind of che…
Tim Hortons ‘RaceTogether’ initiative leads to over 4000 fistfights on first day
CALGARY – Canadian coffee chain Tim Horton’s attempt to duplicate Starbucks’ “RaceTogether” policy, where servers engage customers in frank discussions of racial politics, has resulted in 4…
Tim Hortons layoffs coincide with launch of new DoubleMeat Breakfast Sandwich
OAKVILLE, ON – Just hours after their parent company Burger King announced layoffs at Tim Hortons HQ, the coffee chain has announced a new, even meatier breakfast sandwich. “DoubleMeat mean…
