MONTREAL– The Assassin’s Creed video game received a massive update on their inventory of axes as UbiSoft Montreal invested all of their recent $373M on the one thing they do well. &#…
November to become Female Pubic Hair Appreciation Month
VICTORIA – A new charity, Novembeaver, is looking to draw awareness to ovarian cancer research with women being encouraged to grow out their pubic hair for charity. “We like to think …
Rob Ford: ‘In drunken stupor, I once tried being mayor’
TORONTO – At a scrum in front of his office, Toronto mayor Rob Ford admitted that a year ago, in one of his drunken stupors, he may have tried municipal politics. Ford’s erratic behaviour, …
Study: 100% of restaurants know you’re ordering the second cheapest wine on a first date
NEW YORK – It’s your first date, you’ve dressed up, thought of nonchalantly witty things to say, and, according to a new report from the Center for Mating and Hospitality, you’re about to o…
Blind-internet-frustration not covered by Obamacare
WASHINGTON – President Obama announced that people going blind with frustration over healthcare.gov politely crashing will not be able to get this condition covered once the website lets them sig…
Black man glad local frat is dressing up as him again this Halloween
CLEVELAND – When he learned that members of a local fraternity would be dressing up as the black man who lives next door, Andrew Thompson, the black man who lives next to Pi Gamma Gamma, wa…
Meth dealer this year’s most popular costume for under 13s
New Glasgow, NS — All hallow’s eve is looking to be bathed in a sea of yellow hazmat suits and bowler hats as the most sought after costume for children 13-and-under is a meth dealer.…
Child expresses love to parents with shitty portrait of family
Stoney Creek, ON – A local 5-year old boy disappointed his parents by giving them a poor artistic depiction of the family. Tommy Cobbler finished the work in his senior kindergarten class a…
Local man hoping to be more successful on LinkedIn than Match.com
Brampton, ON – As he waits for the employment offers to come flooding in, Ryan Guthrie, who has been dateless on Match.com for three years, hopes that LinkedIn is an easier nut to crack. “I…
