OTTAWA – Suspended senator Patrick Brazeau has finally found a respectable job as a strip-club day manager after leaving the decadent opium den that is the Canadian Senate. “I’m just happy to be …
Canadian women’s hockey team apologizes for comeback
SOCHI, RUSSIA – The Canadian women’s hockey team captured gold in a stunning overtime win over the Americans and promptly apologized for the comeback victory. “We’re real sorry …
Suspended Senator Patrick Brazeau now manager of a strip club
Sources at the BareFax Gentlemen’s Club, an Ottawa strip club, have confirmed that suspended senator Patrick Brazeau is an employee. What’s your say? “Headline spot, or does he have to tryo…
FEDS: First Nations Education Act a positive step forward in giving First Nations autonomy from Gov obligations
STAND OFF, AB – In what is being described as a major step forward in providing First Nation’s communities with more autonomy from federal government treaty commitments, the Harper Governme…
Report: It way too late to get something going for Valentine’s Day
MONTREAL – Despite your best efforts to remain positive, a report released this morning by McGill University has affirmed that it’s already way too late to get something going for Valentine…
TTC suggests passengers just ‘buy a fucking car already’
TORONTO – Overwhelming customer complaints regarding long delays and crumbling infrastructure have prompted the TTC to suggest to its unhappy customer base “to grow up” and “buy a fucking c…
New contract with Toronto Maple Leafs causes Dion Phaneuf’s face to almost show emotion
TORONTO – When Dion Phaneuf put pen to paper and signed his new contract extension with the Toronto Maple Leafs his face almost assumed the position of a smile, sources reported today. Dave…
Toronto named number one city for young people, internationally
A global urban index has ranked Toronto as number 1 out of 25 of the world’s major cities based on qualities most attractive for people between the ages of 15 and 29. What’s your say? “It’s not s…
