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Local waste of a man to spend all afternoon thinking about morning
WINNIPEG – According to living room sources, unemployed Winnipeg resident and generally useless individual Andrew Rowley will spend the entire afternoon lying on his couch and reflecting up…
Twin brother to twin sister: ‘I think we should see other siblings’
ST. ALBERT, AB – Phillip Flansky, twin brother of Lillian Flansky, broke the news Wednesday to his twin sister that he wants to spend time with his other siblings. Coming from a family of 1…
Chinese man sent back to China for repairs
SHENZEN, CHINA – After noticing behavioural malfunctions, a Vancouver family has sent back its father/husband unit, Lee Xiu, for repairs to a manufacturing plant in Shenzen, China. “Lee wor…
God can’t find publisher for latest book
HEAVEN – Over 3,000 years since the release of His worldwide bestseller The Bible, God, almighty creator of the universe, is finding it difficult to get His latest book published. “I’ve bee…
Entire date ruined by boner
VICTORIA, BC – A potentially pleasant outing between a man and woman on Saturday evening was completely ruined by a boner. Todd Bellard, 28, and his date, 27-year-old Cynthia Elmwood, were …
Montreal may reopen asbestos mine
Quebec supports the reopening of one of Canada’s last asbestos mines despite criticism from international health experts who argue that it is unsafe and immoral to ship asbestos to developi…
