OTTAWA – As Canada’s economic outlook grows increasingly unpredictable and difficult to understand, media outlets across the country are turning to Finance Minister Jim Flaherty’s varied fa…
Murder mystery party ends in actual murder
WINNIPEG, MB – A murder mystery party among friends and acquaintances took a turn for the worse when one guest actually killed another guest as part of the game. Rupert Carpathia, a 28-year…
Unpaid intern quits for lucrative sweatshop position
SHENZHEN, CHINA – Amir Robinson, 24, quit his unpaid internship with a small Canadian television station last week for a much better paying position assembling wallets in an overseas sweats…
Corporations to phase out environment in next 10 years
CALGARY – Several large corporations in Canada and the U.S. have announced plans to completely phase-out the environment by 2022 in order to focus on profits. “Performance reviews indicated…
Pope no longer returning God’s calls
VATICAN CITY – Pope Benedict XVI, Bishop of Rome and Servant of the Servants of God, has not been returning God’s phone calls, according to Pontifical Household sources. “It’s really …
Lazy charity holds annual Drive for the Cure campaign
CALGARY – A record number of drivers showed up Monday morning for the General Motors Drive for the Cure, an event held yearly in Calgary’s downtown. Sidewalks were closed off from 8:30am to…
Rob Ford probably doing something stupid right now
TORONTO – Although he is not currently in the public eye or available for comment, city officials, journalists, and citizens of Toronto are all in agreement that mayor Rob Ford is probably …
No one shows up to Michael Ignatieff’s basketball party
OTTAWA – None of the 25 guests invited by Michael Ignatieff to his weekend basketball-birthday party either showed up or sent an RSVP, the former Liberal Party leader told reporters. “…
Harper government continues to face criticism for F-35 jet costs
Responding to continued criticisms over the high price tag of F-35 jets, the Conservative government has taken the project out of the Defence Department’s hands and given it to Public Works…
