MONTREAL – Recently opened hipster cafe “The Twig” is making a name for itself by serving “nostalgic” instant coffee complete with white refined sugar and powdered c…
Meteorologists hard at work preparing Springtime weather buzzword
WINNIPEG – The innovative meteorologists behind the term “Polar Vortex” and more recently “Chillahedron” and “Popsiclypse” are putting in overtime to com…
Toronto Raptors promised no more Drake if they win next 4 games
TORONTO – The Toronto Raptors’ recent success has led head coach Nick Nurse to promise the team that Drake will step down as the team’s “global ambassador” if the Raptors …
Harper hopes cyberbullying law puts an end to circulating snapchats of Mulcair’s nipple
OTTAWA – Prime Minister Harper announced in a press conference yesterday that he sincerely hopes his anti-cyberbullying bill will end the disturbing stream of continuous and aggressive Snap…
Update: That Chinese couple is not talking about you
YOUR LOCATION – Contrary to popular opinion, the Chinese couple you see speaking to each other in restaurants, grocery stores, and on the bus are not, in fact, gossiping about you. In all l…
Caught up in hype campaign for ‘Reflektor’, Arcade Fire realizes they forgot to record an album
MONTREAL – Arcade Fire’s lead singer Win Butler has admitted that the hype campaign in the lead up to his band’s latest album, “Reflektor”, was so intense that they didn’t have time to rec…
Women everywhere scramble to lock down ‘winter boyfriend’
Burnaby, BC – Anthropologists studying human female migration patterns have noticed mass movements of women toward cafes, college campuses, and libraries in pursuit of finding a mate for th…
Women and their sweatpants enthralled by Tide’s new Period Stain Guarantee detergent
TORONTO – Tide made waves in the detergent world yesterday when it announced its latest product, which promises to remove period stains from sweatpants, bed sheets, mattresses, and full-butt, nud…
