QUEBEC CITY – Quebec Premier François Legault announced his resignation today, explaining that he plans to bring his famed enthusiasm for attacking basic human rights to the private sector.
Since 2011 Legault has been leader of the Coalition Avenir Quebec, a right-leaning amalgamation of angry Journal de Montréal readers, lapsed nationalists, and people whose only international travel is to Fort Lauderdale every winter. Speaking to journalists, Legault noted that he steps down having achieved his major political objective: using the state to make life miserable for the province’s cultural minorities.
“When I first formed the Coalition Avenir Quebec, we had a common goal: To keep those impertinent immigrants and religious minorities in their place,” he told reporters in the National Assembly.
“When I look back on my time as premier, I am proud that I maintained that focus the entire time. I would not be distracted by public sector strikes, a $500 million dollar budget overrun of our insurance board’s digital transformation, or even thousands of Covid-related deaths in our long term care homes,” Legault expanded.
“I knew that the most important thing to Quebeckers was ensuring the woman who takes your driver’s licence photo is not wearing a hijab.”
Legault notes that now he has spent eight years using his government to stoke division and xenophobia against immigrants by treating them as a direct threat to Québécois identity, he now wishes to turn that vision to the private sector.
“I have noted in recent years that many of our top companies have become dangerously diverse by hiring a wide variety of ideal candidates based on their employable skills.They are not even checking their religion or how far back their family tree goes. How can Quebec be great if our private sector employees don’t trace their lineage back to New France?”
Legault proposes a business coalition that would protect Quebec values by encouraging employers to source what he calls the “ideal Quebec employee.”
“The best employee is one whose ancestors knew Samuel de Champlain, calls himself a Catholic but never goes to church, and has a large collection of speedos for Florida,” Legault said, adding, “And is not un hostie d’un Woke. I will do for the private sector what I have for the public sector.”
Legault says he plans to stay on until the CAQ can choose a new leader from the comments section of the Journal de Montréal.
