OTTAWA – With Yarmouth MP Chris d’Entremont crossing the floor from the Conservatives to the Liberals due to “Poilievre’s leadership style”, the CPC leader has responded “My leadership style is the absolute best you pussy libtard! Good riddance!”
Following weeks of controversial statements from Poilievre, including appearing on the YouTube channel Northern Perspective to allege a conspiracy between the highest ranks of the RCMP and Justin Trudeau, rumours swirl about more Conservative MPs bolting due to “PP’s mouth”.
“You should hear the stuff he says when he isn’t on mic,” explained a frazzled d’Entremont, as he joined the Liberal caucus. “If he’s not ranting about how he could totally beat ‘woke ass Justin’ in an arm wrestling match, he’s lecturing us all about crypto.”
In response to the floor crossing, Poilievre immediately raced to the nearest far right podcast, in this case a 5-hour daily livestream titled The True North Bros CON-voy, where he ranted at length about “how goddamn nice I am”.
“How dare DUMB-tremont accuse me of being overly negative, with his stupid Nova Scotia fisherman mouth,” Poilievre insisted during hour three. “I’m the best leader in Canada, and everyone who isn’t a socialist snowflake loser knows that!”
“I dare more of you CINO (Conservative In Name Only) traitors to leave,” Poilievre threatened, before calling Jenni Byrne and begging her not to let any more CPC members cross the floor.
At press time, Prime Minister Mark Carney was frantically strategizing for a Parliament where the ultimate balance of power is held by Elizabeth May.
