VANCOUVER – The world’s most destructive and invasive creature to its ecosystem, homo sapien sapiens, have convened a conference to discuss the spread of pine beetles.
Certain members of the destructive primate species – also referred to as humans – are discussing ideas on controlling the spread of animal much less harmful to the environment than themselves.
“The infestation is out of control,” said Forest Products Association President Larry Whipple, whose species is responsible for the extinction of the dodo, Eastern elk, Guam flying fox and several more. “The pine beetle is not only hurting our forests, but our economy as well.”
Humans expressed concern that their species may not be able to exploit, burn and desecrate forests in time before the pine beetle eats through the trees they intend on using for constructing houses.
“Warmer winters mean more beetles,” said entomologist Virginia Lee who already has already reproduced three offspring placing a further burden on the local food source. “It’s only a matter of time before the entire Boreal Forest is littered in them.”
At the end of the conference, humans were contemplating the release of Cane Toads, Asian Carp and lampreys all at once to see what happens.
