CANADA – Tim Hortons issued a recall today for dozens of their toasted bagels that were sold without their signature burnt edges. The Canadian Food Inspection Agency has classified the affected bagels as a Class 1 (High Risk) health and safety hazard.
The nationwide recall was triggered last week by a report from a Tim Hortons regular. “When I unwrapped my bagel, I immediately knew something was wrong,” says the customer. “Not only were the edges not their usual black, but the cream cheese was also evenly spread. It wasn’t flung onto the bread in globs for me to manage like usual. Obviously, I called 911.”
After similar calls were made across Canada, Tim Hortons investigated and identified what they believe to be a manufacturing error in their newer toasters.
“We have decommissioned the defective toasters and encourage all customers who received the impacted bagels to return them to your nearest Tim’s for adequate charring,” says a company spokesperson. “Bagels that have over-toasted edges and a completely untoasted middle are our specialty, and we apologize for falling short of this standard.”
While Tim Hortons considers the matter to be resolved, customers have been left shaken.
“If something like this could happen, then what’s next?” questions one customer. “Cutting bagels all the way down the middle? Orders without items missing? Quality food? It’s scary to think about.”
“This isn’t the first time they’ve messed up,” says another customer, “I once got a Boston Cream donut to go, and when I opened the bag, the icing was still intact! It wasn’t completely stuck to the inside of the bag for me to claw off in pathetic desperation. That’s not my Timmies!”
“I’ll be taking my business elsewhere,” says another now former customer, “I need things to be consistently bad, because if they’re sometimes good, then I’ll notice the bad, you know?”
In response, Tim Hortons CEO Joshua Kobza has issued a final statement: “We take this matter extremely seriously. Burning stuff – bagels, coffee, pizza, Iced Capps somehow – is part of the Tim Hortons’ promise. As valued members of our Tim’s family, you deserve the consistent passable dining experience that we’re known for. Rest assured, we are committed to maintaining a sub-standard standard across all of our locations.”
