WASHINGTON D.C. – U.S. President Donald Trump is demanding that he be immediately awarded a Nobel Peace Prize as a reward for single-handedly sparking a potential Third World War with the nation of Iran.
Moments after confirming via his Truth Social website that U.S. forces bombed Iranian nuclear sites in Fordow, Natanz, and Esfahan, the U.S. Commander in Chief began truth-ing directly at the Nobel Prize Committee.
“They said nobody could start a war as quickly as me, and as we all know, war and peace are two sides of the same coin,” Trump wrote from a guest bathroom at his Mar-A-Lago resort.
“Speaking of coins, I want my Nobel prize coin to be solid gold, none of this gold-plated crap and also, I think my Peace Prize should be taken from Obama and given to me, because all he did was negotiate a nuclear deal with Iran that was very easy for me to destroy. Thank you for your attention to this matter.”
Trump then signed off his Truth Social post with “NOW IS THE TIME FOR PEACE! ps. Gaza, you’re next.”
White House sources confirm that President Trump boldly made the decision to bomb three Iranian nuclear facilities moments after Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu told him to bomb three Iranian nuclear facilities.
Mere minutes after learning that Trump had unilaterally sent U.S. bombers to use bunker buster missiles on Iranian nuclear enrichment facilities, Trump’s allies in the White House and Congress were quick to echo his demands for a Nobel Peace Prize.
“I think it’s pretty impressive how President Trump managed to launch this war without even getting Congressional approval,” explained U.S. House Speaker Mike Johnson. “How definitely constitutional and completely worthy of a Nobel Prize!”
“Whoa, do I also get a *HIC* peace prize for this? Also, I thought we already bombed Iraq?” slurred United States Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth.
“I forget if I was previously for or against bombing Iran, so let’s just agree this is all Joe Biden’s fault,” noted Fox News host Bret Baier.
Washington insiders predict Trump will have an opportunity to earn a second Nobel Peace Prize after Iran inevitably launches offensives on American military bases and possibly civilians.
At press time President Trump had begun issuing threatens to bomb Canadian nuclear reactors if it got his Nobel Peace Prize delivered faster.
