TORONTO – Tim Ponsly, a local drummer who recently hit the 10,000 hours of practice needed to be regarded by many professionals as a master of his craft, still sucks.
“Very few have reached the level I now have achieved,” stated Tim, incorrectly. “I put in the time, the effort, I read Malcolm Gladwell’s book 16 times, and now a master sits before you.”
Tim’s lack of any quality in his craft after so much time has dumbfounded many famous sociologists, including Malcolm Gladwell himself, who famously said successful people had to spend at least 10,000 hours honing their craft.
“All my books are now trash,” said Gladwell in a recent blog post. “Tim has single handedly destroyed my life’s work. His existence has ruined me. My books might as well be used for kindling rather than to be read.”
Tim’s claims to be great despite his natural mediocrity have had critics re-examine people they thought were great after so much time, including The Beatles, Michael Jordan, and Kendall Jenner.
“Tim has really upended the way we look at success and talent,” said Dr. Harry Brenshaw, head of sociology at Harvard. “Are the Beatles actually good? Is Michael Jordan a good basketball player? Does Kendall Jenner not deserve the hundreds of millions of dollars she is worth? I don’t know if we’ll ever wrap our heads around all of it.”
Tim does not only lack talent in drumming, but also many other fields including the ability to keep track of the time he’s spent on his hobbies. Sources reveal he may have actually spent more than 23,000 hours drumming, making his inability to play at a tolerable level even more astounding.