ST. JOHNS — Anita Debra, local barista, didn’t know what to do with her hands during a recent lull in a conversation, ultimately opting to cup her own breast.
“I just didn’t know what to do with my hands,” says Anita, remarking on her recent cupping during a Zoom call with coworkers. A moment too late, everyone realized they had forgotten to un-mute themselves to react in time to the climax of their boss’s hilarious “double shift” story they’d heard a million times. By the time they went to un-mute, the energy had left the virtual room. Most people desperately grabbed a drink, Anita grabbed something else.
It was a classic case of being unsure of what to do with your hands, as we learned from the recording that was retrieved from the meeting. “There!” Anita paused the video, “that was the exact moment when I realized my hands were just dangling like two limp hot dog buns.”
“I was on the spot. I didn’t know what to do,” she continued as she pressed play. “As you can see I then tried to grab two coffee mugs at the same time. When that didn’t work out, I tried to French braid my hair only to realize I have extremely short hair and have no clue how to do a French braid. And then, I gave up. I just did what I had to do.”
Her coworker, Danya, had this to say. “Honestly, I was doing it too but no one noticed. I did that trick where you attach both of the sleeves of your sweater so that it looks like your hands are folded in front meanwhile on the inside you can cup away to your heart’s content.” Then with one hand she threw her bar cloth over her shoulder like she was a regular on Cheers, another hand she used to lean confidently on a broom handle, and with a knowing wink her third hand continued to sneakily clasp firmly at her bosom.
Debra’s mother commented on the hubbub via email, stating, “This is a very normal reaction to stress. As I write this, I too am cupping my breast. Both breasts actually. As did my mother before me and as did her mother before her.”
She closed her email with a string of emoticons which while not inappropriate in and of themselves, were extremely nonsensical and misplaced.