For years, the red octagons have terrorized locals by requiring them to legally stop their cars at a four-way intersection, say protesters.
“If it weren’t for these stop signs, people would not be so afraid of driving,” said Jeremiah Putnam who blames Bill Gates for setting up the traffic signs. “The local government is using fear tactics of t-bone collisions to control the population.”
Protesters pointed to frightened drivers who constantly darted their heads back-and-forth whenever they approached the intersection indicating a crisis of confidence and demise of democracy.
As the posted warnings were taken down to chants of ‘Stop the Signs,’ activists demanded that the local government admit to the over 400 conspiracy theories on why the signs were first erected.
“People should have the freedom of choice and not have to listen communist traffic engineers to tell you when a light is green,” said a former People’s Party candidate holding a sign declaring ‘I will not stop for anyone!’ “My car, my choice.”
In related news, a truck hurtling towards the intersection didn’t see the protesters either.