WASHINGTON, DC – Following revelations in a new documentary that Hillary Clinton does not support Bernie Sanders, the Sanders campaign office has responded with great relief that they have managed to avoid their greatest potential threat to securing the 2020 Democratic nomination.
“Bernie has been polling very well, but everybody on Team Sanders knew that we were one Clinton endorsement away from losing everything,” stated senior campaign official Ron McMeel. “We already avoided the threat of a New York Times endorsement, so now everybody here at headquarters has decided to take the rest of the afternoon off and get day drunk.”
Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders were adversaries in 2016, and many political analysts expected their past rivalry to lead Clinton to sabotage the Sanders campaign by endorsing it.
“Thankfully, much like when Hillary put aside her past differences with President Obama to serve as his Secretary of State,” explained McMeel, “she was able to look past the fact that Sanders was once her opponent in order to provide today’s pivotal un-dorsement.”
In related news, Joe Biden is reported to be actively seeking an endorsement from Clinton, and has offered to “hug her for as long as it takes” to get one.