TORONTO – Donald ‘Grapes’ Cherry, a failed hockey coach and current hockey commentator who Canadians saw fit to vote as the 7th greatest Canadian of all time, is under fire for saying a racist statement for the 845th time.
“Don made comments that were hurtful, prejudiced, and downright wrong,” said HNIC co-host Ron MacLean. “And I condemn them just as strongly as I condemned all 844 previous such incidents.”
“But I think we can all agree that repeated, unrepentant racism aside, he’s still a better Canadian than Arthur Currie, Alexander Graham Bell or Neil Young,” he added.
Cherry stated that immigrants want to come to Canada for our “milk and honey” but do not respect our country by wearing a poppy. This comes on the heels of his previously saying “Europeans” are soft for wearing visors, Indigenous Canadians are lazy and don’t want to work, women don’t belong in sports locker rooms, nationalism was the best way forward, and “thank you for choosing me as the 7th greatest Canadian in our country’s centuries long history, you definitely won’t regret your choice.”
“In fairness we voted him as the 7th greatest Canadian back in 2004. At the time he’d only said like 634 racist things,” reasoned Toronto woman Cindy Di Paolo.
When reached for comment at his Mississauga home Cherry immediately asked where the reporters were “really from” before demanding they sing The Maple Leaf Forever to prove they were a good Canadian kid.