Sault Ste. Marie, ON- Grade one student, Charlie Jacobs of Little Oak Elementary, has released a statement confirming that his Halloween costume this year is in fact Darth Vader wearing a winter coat, and not just his parents forcing him to add layers to his costume on a cold night.
“I like being unique”, reiterates a pensive Jacobs. “I’ve seen so many Darth Vaders in my day, I figured why not get into the nitty gritty of who Vader is as a person; a person who is most likely cold when being outside for hours on end.”
But still, many classmates find it hard to believe that Jacobs isn’t just regurgitating rhetoric his parents have convinced him of so he won’t catch cold. Class bully Daniel R. has officially released a counter statement asking Jacobs if he’s ever heard of “putting a sweater under his costume like a big boy?”
Critics aside, Jacobs is thrilled with his costume choice and parents and teachers alike are impressed with his creativity. However Jacobs has no problem defending his choices to trolls, claiming that Darth Vader breathes heavily due to him having a bronchial infection, and noted that it should be cannon that Vader needs a scarf to combat his health problems.
“Have you ever had to teach the day after Halloween?” Continued grade one teacher Mrs. DePiro. “It literally answers the question, what’s it like to teach a room full of hungover six year olds? Whatever it takes to convince these miniature idiots to do something that is good for their health, I stand behind.”
While Jacobs parents have released a joint statement stating that Jacobs is a curious little fella who came up with this idea “all on his own”, several neighbours are refuting Jacobs’ “creativity”, due to him dressing up as Lightning McQueen for the past five years.
“I think this is a trend that will carry on”, states Jacobs. Adding that he hopes to see fellow characters Luke and Leia out there in a winter coats this year along with Wonder Woman in a raincoat and boots and Fortnite characters in full snowsuits.