For many of us, it can be hard to get motivated, especially if we have a lot of demands on our time. That’s why productivity experts are suggesting an innovative new approach to getting things done: pick out something you want to accomplish each day, then, if you don’t accomplish it, spend as much time and energy as you can beating yourself up.
While really hating yourself can be a big investment, experts are confident that it’s worth it. “This system is simple but incredibly effective,” workflow expert Laura Roit stated. “Your goal doesn’t have to be huge every day. It could be as basic as calling yourself lazy if you don’t spend the 10 minutes planning your living room that you planned to. You can fit in a quick ‘fuck you, you stupid twat’ in the mirror as you brush your teeth if you didn’t clear out your inbox.
“Little things like this can add up and really help you get more done.” Roit added. “But in the end, it’s really important not to get sucked into focusing on how you can do better next time.”
“For example, I just forgot about sitting up straight in this interview – Stupid Laura! Stupid!”
Other techniques some experts recommend include not doing the dishes, not applying for new jobs, and not returning texts from your mom. “Hell, even not stopping yourself from spoiling an episode of Killing Eve can be enough to let you get in a good self-castigation, which will just in itself make you more accomplished and useful.”
Experts insist that this method make for an an easy, hands-on hobby, allowing you keep reminders of your failures nearby in your home – like that yoga ball you bought and barely ever used!
While the mechanism by which this technique works is unclear even to those who have studied it closely, responses from early adopters have been overwhelmingly positive.
“I wasn’t sure I’d be able to stick with this approach,” marketing manager and mother of two Lynn Erdie told reporters. “But after about a week it got a lot easier. Before I knew it I was hating myself over not hitting my daily step count, not making it to my daughter’s baseball game and not picking up that stupid goddamn fibre powder because I am a useless asshole.”
“It’s really easy to work into your life once you get used to it!”
If all of this sounds like a tall order, don’t panic – even if you fail at this easy productivity hack, you can then castigate yourself for that!