The Top 5 documentaries that will kick start you right into a major depression - The Beaverton
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The Top 5 documentaries that will kick start you right into a major depression

In our current cultural and political climate, truth is often stranger, scarier, and more uplifting than fiction – which is why it’s no surprise that documentaries are having a renaissance in 2019 Nothing is more affecting than an “irl” story, so is here to let you know what the Top 5 documentaries you can watch in order to begin your journey into a devastating depression.

LEAVING NEVERLAND
This must-watch HBO doc is tragic and intimate account of a celebrity we all knew was dangerous. In terms of when you should watch it to get that sweet sweet misery hit? Well, not first thing in the morning, because it will really make you feel profoundly awful all day long. And if you settle in to watching it at night, be prepared to not sleep. At all. But definitely watch it, because it’s so good. But maybe also don’t watch it, because there’s literally nothing revelatory about it and you’ll end up hating everyone and everything. But also watch it because I need to share my sorrow with others.


You’re gonna love the immense out-of-control despair you’ll feel while watching this bio-doc about Mr. Rogers. Get ready to reach for the tissues and “prozac”, because this documentary makes you feel so sad you’ll think there is something wrong with the organic chemistry in your brain. Seriously, I sobbed so loudly in the theatre people that asked me if I was okay. I wasn’t. And weirdly enough, I don’t even really care for Mr. Rogers – I’m more of a Mr. Dressup stan.


If you ever felt the need to scream the words “fuuuuuuccccckkk yooooouuu” for six hours straight, then this is the documentary for you. Though this doc about R.Kelly being a living monster will make you feel more enraged than sad; it’s important to remember that anger is the active form of sadness. So next time you’re really angry, remember you’re just sad.


Whitney Houston was a once in a lifetime talent with a life story that is so upsetting you will never want to get out of bed. Literally, stay in bed, because even when life gives you the most remarkable talent, things can go so wrong. Yeah, life is awful.

YOUR EX’S INSTAGRAM STORIES
So, this isn’t technically a studio-produced feature film, but like Andy Warhol once said, “everyone will be world famous for 15 minutes”, and boy was he right. Dammit why does the grainy nuevo realism style of this shit insta-vid make your ex look look way hotter? Also, who is that girl in the last second of some of his stories? She looks . Damn, he looks so happy, it’s as if your relationship meant nothing to him. All of these thoughts will continue to swirl in your mind until you realize life is unfair. And then there it is – the seed that begins your inevitable sadness.