CAIRO – An Egyptian museum focusing on fallen human civilizations has called dibs on the Tower of London now that the country is expected to fall into complete turmoil now that Boris Johnson is Prime Minister.
“Since the once mighty British Empire has fallen into such civil strife, we are preemptively declaring ownership of this important landmark,” said Khalil Boulos, director of the Egyptian Museum of Cairo. “We will take the Tower back with us for its own protection. I will advise my colleagues at the National Museum of Damascus that we’ve called it and no takesies backsies.”
The Museum expects that, within a few short months, priceless British artifacts ranging from the Crown of Queen Elizabeth II to Prime Minister Theresa May’s signed copy of the Brexit deal will need to be protected from roaming football hooligans and therefore placed in foreign museum for centuries to come.
Riots caused by food and drug shortage throughout the politically dysfunctional kingdom have many in the World Heritage community concerned that archaeological digs may be required to recover artifacts so that they can be then brazenly stolen.
“If we bargain, we could get our museum the head of King Charles I for a simple loaf of bread,” explained Boulos. “We’ll employ the natives to help us as we expect labour will be very cheap.”