OTTAWA – The discovery of a far-away dwarf planet on the outer limits beyond Pluto has many Canadians asking the same question: how will this affect Canada’s supply management system of its dairy products?
While scientists have yet to verify if this planet has any signs of life on it, one thing is certain: Canada’s dairy market is yet again vulnerable to foreign dumping of milk, cheeses, and butter, which may contain growth hormones assuming an advanced society lives there.
“The Canadian government has done nothing to protect its farmers from any market dumping from 2015 TG387,” said Canadian Dairy Commission Chief Astronomer Toby Glick. “It might be just a giant ball of ice, or it could be an advanced society that heavily subsidizes its milk providers creating a surplus that will have a huge impact on our quota system. We should take every precaution.”
Canada’s milk producers are asking the Canadian Space Agency to make contact with the distant planet to let them know there’s a 300% tariff on any imports of astro milk whey powder, astro-ice cream, and astro-yogurt (not to be confused with Canadian-produced Astro Yogurt).
Demonstrating their pride for the industry, Canadians have shared messages of support and accusations that the giant sphere hundreds of billions of kilometers away would not reach the high quality standards in taste and safety as Canada’s dairy system.
Meanwhile, the Dairy Board has announced it will be launching a deep-space satellite to discover if the moon is really made out of cheese.