Hamilton, ON- A decade long study at McMaster University has found what many anthropologists have long suspected: that the sole feature of Anglo Canadian culture is identifying with certain brands and corporations.
When asked to define Anglo Canadian culture most respondents gave an answer that involved either Tim Hortons, Canadian Tire or calling a couch a Chesterfield (™ The Chesterfield Shoppe). Many respondents also mentioned several distinctly Quebecois pieces of culture such as sugar shacks or poutine.
“Ever since the Hudson Bay Company brought english investment into Canada, Anglo Canadians have been defined by their connection to brands.” said lead researcher Talbir Singh “Honestly the most surprising thing we discovered was that Country Style is some people’s favourite coffee.”
When asked to define what makes anglo canadian life special one respondent answered “Tim Hortons double double, Harvey’s have it your way, Roots sweat suit, Swiss Chalet Dipping Sauce, Honest Ed’s, Sam the Record Man sign and Bell Media’s Corner Gas.”
“I don’t care what the study says, whenever I go to the Roger’s centre and drink a Molson Canadian while I cheer on the Blue Jays I’m proud to be Canadian” explained Markham resident Peter Bore.
Many interviewed for the study cited tolerance and respect as a feature of Anglo Canadian culture before realizing that not being overtly racist to other people is basic human decency and not a cultural practice.
A related study found the primary feature of Franco Canadian culture to be racism.