PENTICTON, BC – Early reports indicate that a bulky 5 lbs container of protein whey is clearly compensating.
While appearing to be powerful and tough, those close to the Optimum Nutrition 100% Whey say it is very self-conscious and has a very brittle sense of masculinity.
“I can bench 250 lbs no problem,” boasted the vain container filled with a dehydrated dairy by-product listing off the various exercises it does to get ripped. “Today, I blasted my lid, and tomorrow I’ll do the same to my abs.”
The container filled with a dietary supplement bragged about its physical attributes and its ability to workout nine times per week even though it struggles with personal relationships and has never found love.
It then talked about how confident it feels to look this good though sources confirm that its as hollow as many of the health claims on its packaging.
“People have to carry me with two hands, I’m so large,” it said without mentioning the fact it spent last night crying alone in the cupboard near the blender.
