QUIZ: What is Neil Young whining about now? - The Beaverton

QUIZ: What is Neil Young whining about now?

You can hear the unmistakable wheeze of one of rock and roll’s most important singer-songwriters, but you can’t quite make out what his high pitched complaint is about this time. Take this quiz to figure out what Neil Young is whining about now.

 

1. Where do you see Neil Young right now?
Neil Young is in an open field. There are protesters everywhere.
Neil Young is behind me in line at the grocery store.
I’m currently bound to Neil Young. I am a skydiving instructor and apparently he’s always want to go skydiving. We are in a small plane.
Neil Young is loading his clothes into a washing machine close to me at my local laundromat.
2. Can you make out any words that might hint at what Grammy Award winning artist, Neil Young, might be taking exception to at the moment?
He seems to be bemoaning the state’s involvement with a company. It’s not McDonalds, nor is it Home Depot, but I think whoever it is may be trying to build something where he’s standing.
He keeps holding up two melons from his cart, periodically smelling them, muttering something about “the last time” and “mushy melons.”
Neil Young has made it very clear that he’s a big fan of the movie Point Break. Not the new one, but the one with Keanu Reeves and Patrick Swayze. He made sure to tell me that twice. He just told me that Patrick Swayze did all of his own stunts in that movie, including the skydiving scenes.
I just heard him yell “then why did I bring all these stupid quarters then?” after he found the smart card system on the washers and dryers.
3. What instrument does he have with him?
He’s currently talking about our dependence on, I think, “fuzzle fools”? It’s hard to tell with the harmonica in his mouth.
It’s just those two melons, which he’s now tapping and asking for them to be juicy and delicious. So if I had to say which instrument, I guess percussion?
Neil Young has an Israeli made Uzi, which as someone who is strapped to him, has made me very nervous about his plan to rob a bank as soon as we land with our parachutes on the city square. Also, he’s now wearing a Nixon mask humming the tune to “Ohio.”
Neil Young has thrown a bunch of quarters at the ground, but has since started picking them up before loading bed sheets into one of the washers. So, quarters.
4. Who is your favourite?
Crosby
Stills
Nash
Crosby twice
5. What did Neil Young just say to you?
Neil Young just told me that people have rights, and you have to fight for them. Even I could understand that through, what I must admit, was a masterful kazoo solo.
Neil Young just said, “fuck it! I’m buying both melons!”
Neil Young just said he’s off to ride the biggest wave there is, and the only way to stop him was to get my surfboard and chase him out on the waters of off Waimea Bay. This storm is looking pretty gnarly. There’s no way he’ll survive. Or is there?
Neil Young just said “thanks,” as I let him use my laundry card.
6. It sounds like Neil Young has just rewritten one of his songs to fit the situation. What was it?
“We got fuel to not burn, we roads to not drive on. Keep on rockin’ in the field world!”
“Because every melon is like a setting sun.”
“Skydiving Man better keep your head. Don’t forget what your instructor said.”
“Hey hey, my my. I’m waiting for my clothes to dry.”
QUIZ: What is Neil Young whining about now?
Neil Young is whining about the failure of Pono
Even though the digital music service was high quality, the Neil Young backed venture Pono failed to take over from mp3s or other digital music files on streaming sites like iTunes and Spotify. Neil is currently complaining that Pono was far superior and it’s the fault of everyone else being stupid that it didn’t catch on.

Reactions?!
  •  ♥ 
  •  🍆 
  • LOL 
  • YAAAAS 
  • NAAAAS 
  • I do not know how I feel about this 
  • I just want to click a button 
Images via Flickr: a,b,c,d,e,f,g,h
Want more satire in your life? Check out the Beaverton Podcast!