https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rose_McGowan#/media/File:Rose_McGowan_TIFF_2008_(Straighten_Crop).jpg

Twitter suspends Rose McGowan for not smiling enough

SAN FRANCISCO – American actress and director was temporarily banned by this week after making several vocal statements about and those complicit in his years of sexual assault, with the service additionally telling her that she should smile more.

“Ms. McGowan’s Twitter feed is pretty harsh and standoffish,” said an anonymous Twitter moderator. “It would be a lot prettier if she just posted some more positive stuff.”

Twitter went on to tell McGowan that maybe she should take the time to chat with the random male users who catcall on her wall, consider putting on makeup before posting any photos, and finished by calling her ‘sweetheart.’

“We don’t like how this happening anymore than Legs over there,” added the moderator as an orange man threatened World War III. “But frankly, her feminism is making some of our users uncomfortable.”

The backlash against Twitter has been severe, but the service will maintain the ban until the offending tweets that challenge and insult a rapist are deleted.

“It’s right there in our Terms and Service: “be nice to rapists,” said a Twitter spokesperson. “It’s no worse than Facebook’s policy that you can’t hurt white people’s feelings.”

Despite criticisms Twitter is confident that calmer, more masculine, voices will prevail.

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