TORONTO – With the approaching legalization of cannabis, local beer snob Timothy Davis is excited to develop a condescending attitude about marijuana.
“Much like Belgian beers, I think that cannabinoids have a range of subtle flavours that most people’s unsophisticated palates can’t appreciate,” stated Davis.
“Plus I already know everything ever about beer so I wanted a new challenge”
In preparation for the conversion to weed snobbery, Davis has purchased a $2000 vaporizer, spends hours on the weedraters.com forums and watched Vice TV’s more than 27 shows about cannabis. This has been Davis biggest snobbery motivated purchase since spending $1500 on vinyl records in 2005.
Many of Davis’ friends are very excited for the change. “I spent years enjoying low cost, straightforward lagers before Tim taught me that I was wrong for enjoying them,” said Davis roommate Cheryl Bincs. “I can’t wait for him to lecture me about how I’m getting high wrong.”
However, not everyone is taking Davis’ attempts at weed snobbery as seriously. “It’s really cute that Timmy is still comparing strains but most weed nerds are on a whole other level,” reported local dispensary worker Jake O’Malley. “He doesn’t even know the health benefits of weed, I watched a YouTube video that said it could cure cancer, so…” he said, trailing off.
“This behaviour is common in about 10% of the population,” noted behavioural psychologist Amir Hanas. “If the brain is wired in a certain way, the rush of endorphins that comes from correcting some else’s enjoyment can be more powerful than any drug.”
In his latest effort at pot elitism, Davis spent over $1000 on weed that had been eaten, digested and excreted by an Asian Palm Civet, a small mammal native to South East Asia.