Breaking: Yes you did forget to lock your front door, idiot - The Beaverton

Breaking: Yes you did forget to lock your front door, idiot

SIX BLOCKS FROM YOUR PLACE – Reports are confirming that the nagging feeling that you left your door unlocked is 100% correct and that people will soon be robbing the place blind you moron.

“But I totally remember inserting the key and hearing a lock” said the jackass who is you despite the fact that you aren’t certain of anything. You then added “or was that yesterday?”

This is the third time you’ve forgotten to lock your in a month and you are now debating if it’s worth going home to lock it for real.

“What are the chances I get robbed? Probably pretty low”, you remarked without any knowledge of the break-in rate in your , which is surprisingly much higher than you could ever imagine.

After several minutes of silent contemplation, broken up with brief outbursts of the word, “!” and “Fucking shit!” you finally decided to turn around and go home.

“This is a good thing” you rationalized to yourself but in reality this unplanned detour will make you a good 20 minutes late for a very important meeting, prompting your boss to say, “I guess we know who doesn’t care about their job.”

At press time you have somehow locked your front door but left the keys dangling in the lock.