Try Kellie Leitch’s Canadian Values Test for Immigrants - The Beaverton
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Try Kellie Leitch’s Canadian Values Test for Immigrants

Conservative Party Leadership Candidate Kellie Leitch has proposed immigrants be screened for Canadian values prior to their arrival. Here’s an exclusive view of what the quiz will look like:

1. Canada was founded on the values of:
A productive business that maximizes profit
A murderous caliphate
A backwards liberal state where everyone is forced to be transgender
A tax-hungry, refugee-loving dystopia with a required long-form census and a gun registry
2. A woman has the right to:
Be an active member in politics and take leadership positions in society so long as she opposes abortion
Wear whatever niqab she chooses
Be a man, or a woman-man, or a woman-pineapple, or whatever
Have the nerve to ask her employer for pay equity
3. If a passenger train left Jasper, Alberta at 10:45 AT travelling eastward at 103 km/h while a CN freight train departed Prince Albert, Saskatchewan at 11:11 CT, travelling westward at 72 km/h, at what time would these trains collide and which group of people are to blame?
17:40, the engineers
20:16, Al-Qaeda/Justin Trudeau
21:17, years of budget cuts that has lead to the erosion of our national railway system
22:36, accidents sometimes happen
4. As a new citizen of Canada, I will:
Not complain about anything and keep my mouth shut if I know what’s good for me
Take advantage of everyone, especially flag-waving grandmothers and orphans
Contribute to the dying field of the arts
Assimilate and give myself a Canadian name, like ‘Gord’, or ‘Kelly’
5. My intention in immigrating to Canada is to:
Only to give my labour as a Temporary Foreign Worker and get out when I’m told
Stay and become a doctor stealing an in-demand job from other doctors who refuse to be a general physician
Destroy every Canadian tradition from prayers at city council meetings to only serving gluten-only options at restaurants
Implement shariah law just like in Ontario
6. Welfare is:
Only to be used by the Queen and her family
The real reason people immigrate to Canada
A plague on society breeding sloth and greed
A great way to support your extended family in Canada
7. Our veterans are:
To be admired for the ability to fend for themselves as their benefits were cut to balance a budget
All torturers who defiled your country
Individuals who, for a variety of reasons including national pride, need of a career or exposure to propaganda, enlisted and served in the Canadian Forces for a period of time before retiring
The recipients of benefits through various statues
8. What is your favorite sport?
Hockey
Soccer
Stoning a Christian
Canadian flag burning
9. What religion are you?
God fearing Christian who feels uncomfortable around the others
Other
10. Which political party would you vote for if an election were held today?
Conservative Party
Other
Try Kellie Leitch’s Canadian Values Test for Immigrants
Immediate Deportation
Please report to a Canadian Border Services Agency official immediately for deportation. Even if you have Canadian citizenship or were born here, you are clearly not Canadian according to our soon-to-be Prime Minister Kellie Leitch. Have a nice day!
Try Kellie Leitch’s Canadian Values Test for Immigrants
Immediate Deportation
Sorry! You don’t belong here.
Try Kellie Leitch’s Canadian Values Test for Immigrants
Immediate Deportation
Nice try, but health benefits have to be earned just like the people who earned it by being born here.
Try Kellie Leitch’s Canadian Values Test for Immigrants
Congratulations! You have Canadian values!
Sir John A Macdonald would be proud had you not deported him back to his native Scotland. Your blood is pure as Tim Horton’s coffee sweetened with maple syrup.

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