LOS ANGELES – Lucasz “Dr. Luke” Gottwald, has been living a nightmare since courts denied singer Kesha Sebert’s request to work with a producer who didn’t drug and rape her.
“Things were already uncomfortable before the trial,” a shaken Gottwald told reporters. “My female employees refused to look at me, became nervous in my presence, and started leaving me out of coffee runs. It’s been really brutal for me.”
Gottwald’s achievements include a Songwriter of the Year award, four Grammy nominations, and destroying the self-worth of what’s certainly several vulnerable young women. Now he worries that the trial will have negative effects not only on his reputation, but will also make things super awkward on his Rape-The-World Tour.
“Look, at least [Sebert] gets therapy for her PTSD.” Gottwald said through tears “How can I set foot in my office without wondering if women are turned-off by my now public rape habit? Where’s my support group?”
Armchair internet legal commentator, Kirk Walter, was quick to point out that Dr. Luke has only been accused of raping Sebert. “We need to be careful about destroying a man’s reputation when, statistically, only 98% of rape accusations are actually true. That’s why, to put a stop to this madness, we’re destroying Ke$ha’s reputation first.”
Gottwald is especially fearful that Sebert is using this dilemma as a tool to relaunch her career.
“For some unknown reason she hasn’t released anything lately and her career’s in the dumps.” Gottwald told reporters as he headed for the side door of his own studio “What better way to get attention than by making an accusation that will isolate her from her peers, expose her to public humiliation, and have her permanently marred as ‘difficult to work with’?”
Gottwald was unable to mask his disappointment with the court’s decision.
“The worst part is that even though the public will probably forget about this almost immediately, I still have to live with the knowledge that, one day, my actions could have consequences.”
