Manitoba Election 2016: Party Platforms - The Beaverton

Manitoba Election 2016: Party Platforms

Manitobans go to the polls on April 19th. Can the NDP hold onto power after 16 years? Or will the PC’s get a chance to form government? Or will the underdog Liberals come from behind in an upset? Here is a brief guide on political platforms:


Economy: Encourage economic growth by offering government employees grants to start their own smaller governments

Health Care: Give every Manitoban their own Regional Health Authority

Education: Send poorly performing students to neighbouring Saskatchewan to bring up the provincial average in math, reading, and science

Taxes: Actual tax platform to be released after election, just like last time

Child Welfare: Any children being placed under provincial care will stay at a motel with at least a 2 star rating from CAA

Progressive Conservative Party

Economy: Reduce the size of government to a simple, easy-to-understand sound byte.

Healthcare: Slash emergency room wait times by developing an Emergency Room Reduction Task Force

Education: Teachers will be able to tell struggling students they’re a ‘zero’, ‘complete failure at life’ and ‘a waste of taxpayer money’ on report cards

Taxes: Invert the progressive tax rate so the poor can make up for the years of revenue lost under the NDP

Governance: Protect frontline government workers from employment

Mental Health: Get the counselling PC Leader needs

Liberal Party

Economy: Remove PST for hair salon services so former Liberal Leader can finally get those ombre highlights

Healthcare: Fund in vitro fertilization to create a super-intelligent form of species who will be able to balance the provincial budget some day

Education: Task third-grade students with developing a Liberal education platform that isn’t identical to the NDP’s education platform

Taxes: Charge PST on PST rebates

Economy:  Support the struggling blimp industry

Healthcare: Improve prescription drug coverage by airship

Infrastructure: Invest more in green transportation, like airships

Taxes: Deliver a fair tax cut to middle class by airship.

Governance: Run a sufficient amount of candidates to form a hypothetical minority government

Bison Party

Economy: Use every part of the economy

Plains: More tall grass for grazing

Species Preservation: Separate school boards for French-speaking Wood Bisons

Herd safety: Better calf protection from wolves and coyotes