OTTAWA – Prime Minister Justin Trudeau announced yesterday that the retirement age for young people born less than 30 years ago would be brought back down to 135, reversing the Conservatives’ increase to 137.
“It was a mistake to increase it like the Conservatives did,” said Trudeau during a town hall meeting with Bloomberg TV in New York. “I don’t want to live in a country where after over a century of productive work as baristas and security guards Canadians still can’t afford to retire before their 136th birthday.”
“It is the goal of our budget to ensure that young Canadians will be able to afford to upload their consciousness into an android vessel before their emaciated bodies totally fail, just like their parents did.”
Critics are calling the move a step in the wrong direction.
“This program is already unsustainable,” said University of Alberta economist Donald Ray. “How will we be able to bear these costly entitlements for millennials in an economy based off of fresh water and raiding?”
However finance minister Bill Morneau said the government was steadfast in its decision.
”The Government of Canada wants to ensure that all of today’s young workers will be able to only work two serving jobs when they are in their nineties, instead of the current four.”
Insiders say the budget will also include a further home purchasing assistance program for young Canadians, in which they will be transported to remote parts of the country where real estate is cheaper.