VANCOUVER – After having expressed mild excitement about the purchase of a new camera to a friend who once took a photography course, local woman Tiffany Tsu has been forced to endure a tutorial in its functions for the past hour.
“He just keeps going,” said Tsu. “He went through all the buttons and I thought he was done, but then he flipped the screen open and there were just more buttons. That was 20 minutes ago.”
The friend in question, local man Marc Bernier, has extensive knowledge of photography equipment, having taken two weekend intensive over the last three years and knowing somebody who owns a studio.
“It’s all about light,” said Bernier. “If you don’t have the right light you need to make the right light, and that’s what your spectrum refraction setting is for. Unless it’s nighttime, but hold your horses, we’ll get to that in about fifteen minutes.”
Tsu, who had purchased the camera solely to take pictures of food and dogs, reported that the experience has left her exhausted.
“I tuned out about 10 minutes in. There was something about fondling the frame? Tasting the focal length?”
“Anyway, I don’t care what spot metering is. I just need this to end.”
At press time Bernier had handed the camera back, but had pulled out his laptop and begun talking about the fascinating world of colour correction.
