THE PRAIRIES – Although he came in faking like he was hot shit, eyewitnesses at Scraggly Dan’s Saloon are reporting that this namby-pamby, suit-and-tie man don’t know what he’s getting himself into.
“Shoot, I told ya he wouldn’t want to get them lily-white hands dirty,” laughed Clementine Boone, demolition-derby announcer. “He done stepped in it now!”
Observers said that the sissy sure do put on a show, but there ain’t no way, no way in hell, that he’ll be able to pull this off. In fact, experts concur that in ‘bout five minutes that boy’s gonna be crying for his mama.
“You’s a long way from your indoor plumbing, Big City,” hollered 2012’s “Rodeo Fan of the Year” Earle “The Colonel” Ruggins, in between perfectly aimed spitoon shots. “Things is done different out here.”
At press time, well shit, looks like this clean-shaven, glasses-wearing hairdo just might got the stones after all.
